The Instinct of the Jealous

Women, instead, would feel jealous of a possible emotional involvement of their partner with another woman, because this would imply a loss of loving and material investment. This difference would be due to the men's ability to reproduce much more often, generating a greater concern with these terms, and the fact that the women do not reproduce with the same frequency, since the gestation lasts nine months and, therefore, , their attention is directed to other aspects of life.

Sociocultural perspectives, however, classify some evolutionary ideas as sexist, as they disregard the social construction implied in this type of response. Thus, men would create strategies of control and possession also due to their socialization, which tends towards the objectification of women and the view that they are their possession. Both perspectives agree, however, that jealousy can end up generating abusive behavior between partners and that, in general, the individual is not aware of what causes jealousy.

Although in many cases jealousy can only generate isolated fights between couples, in others it can become a much more complex problem. Among the jealous considered pathological, it is not uncommon to hear stories of people who chased their partners, even during work hours, to spy on them through windows.

It is scientific consensus that we are able to civilize our animal instincts through a process called sublimation. In this process, through socialization, our brain connects instinctual areas to more cognitive areas, as well as the pleasure center, forming a new organization. In this way, both jealousy and the male need to reproduce can no longer be seen in a deterministic way or as an immutable condition. Like countless other social and evolutionary issues, jealousy can be transformed.

In general, the first question that should be worked out with the jealous person is why they are feeling that way. It is important to reflect on what makes a person jealous or even pathologically jealous (in some cases, it can be considered delusional). In some cases, jealousy can signify an intuition. In scientific terms, intuition is nothing more than the recognition of patterns that we already know, even if we are not fully aware of them. Thus, it is fair to say that the jealous person may be identifying something in the environment or in their partner that makes them feel threatened. This can mean the presence of very beautiful, smarter or more interesting people in general or the partner's response to other people, such as constant praise, frequent contact or similar situations. Having identified what it is that is generating jealousy, it is time to start thinking about how to stop it.

In the same way that the brain can become sociable, it can also revert to barbarism. Civilization must be taught to each generation and it always lasts, at most, one generation. It is therefore essential to learn how to deal with this type of situation and ensure that future generations are less affected by such suffering. Seek help from a qualified professional. If you want to know how Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy can help you, talk to me at this link or send me an email.

Anne Caroline da Silva

Psychologist CRP 08/35969

anne.css@outlook.com

+55 41 98869-5821

REFERENCES

Buss, D. M. (2000). Os perigos da paixão: Por que o ciúme é tão necessário quanto o amor e o sexo. (M. Campello, Trad.) Rio de Janeiro: Objetiva.

Hupka, R.B. & Ryan, J.M. (1990). The cultural contribution to jealousy: Cross-cultural aggression in sexual jealousy situations. Behavior Science Research, 24, 51-71.

Pines, A. & Friedman, A. (1998). Gender differences in romantic jealousy. Journal of Social Psychology, 138, 54-71.

Ramos, A.L.M; Calegaro, M. Resenha: A Paixão Perigosa: Por Que o Ciúme é Tão Necessário Quanto o Amor e o Sexo. Psic.: Teor. e Pesq. 17 (3) • Set 2001